Monday, July 06, 2009

Why settle for second best?

I've just to come to the consensus that I hate men. Why on earth were they created? They are just total mind fucks. I really wish I was a lesbian - life would be so much easier. Actually now to come to think of it I wish I was a nun. God, the life of nun. Celibate for life - no seeing your boyfriend look at another woman in that way that you just know. You know - you just know. Not having to feel like you have to splurge another couple of grand on a new wardrobe which in 6 month's time is going to go out of fashion, or quite frankly, won't fit over your thighs, because your deepest and dearest says to you, 'I love you just the way you are', and then tries to stuff even more cream in your mouth. DON'T BELIEVE HIM. He doesn't care because he can't wait to leave that kitchen table, to lock himself in his man cupboard to look at those big tits shaking and those tight bald fannies jiggling and believe me, they ain't yours - nope - they come courtesy of the internet whilst they hide in their cupboards pretending to learn more about the global financial crisis. More like the global financial cries arse.

And then why do men deny it or try or try and cover it up? It's written all over their face - their actions.

Yes life would be much better if it were celibate. I mean men and their fuck wit fantasies - who needs them? They get you pregnant. They trade you in for a younger model when they reach mid-life crisis - and as my mother used to say, 'a man doesn't like the older model who becomes dry and crusty, they want tight and moist'. I mean use this analogy - why would you want a piece of stale, dry and crusty bread when you can have some fresh straight out of the oven?

See, this is the thing about a fantasy - it is this thing that a man truly wants, not a fantasy.

The definition of fantasy:

fan⋅ta⋅sy 
–noun
1. imagination, esp. when extravagant and unrestrained.
2. the forming of mental images, esp. wondrous or strange fancies; imaginative conceptualizing.
3. a mental image, esp. when unreal or fantastic; vision: a nightmare fantasy.
4. Psychology. an imagined or conjured up sequence fulfilling a psychological need; daydream.
5. hallucination.
6.a supposition based on no solid foundation; visionary idea; illusion: dreams of Utopias and similar fantasies.
7.caprice; whim.
8.an ingenious or fanciful thought, design, or invention.
9.Also, fantasia. Literature. an imaginative or fanciful work, esp. one dealing with supernatural or unnatural events or characters: The stories of Poe are fantasies of horror.
10.Music. fantasia (def. 1).

So if we relate, pyscologically wise, fantasy to men, it is, in essence, filling their psycological need. So in fact, fantasy will never just stay a fantasy; if a man has the opportunity to fullfil it, by heck - he's going to do it and then fantasy will come reality - whether its with you or without you.

So all the words of 'I love you' or this is the best one 'you're the one that he comes home to in the end' well quite frankly dear - FUCK OFF. Excuse my language but those two words are the best and most efficient way to say toodle doo, chop chop, away you go, in one quick breath. Why waste your time ranting and raving?

I don't want to be the second best of the one he comes home to in the end when during the evening he's frolicking with whoever he wants. Why would I want to put myself in that position? Tell me, let's reverse the roles - ok men, how many of YOU would be happy with your lady frolicking left, right and centre but feel ok, because in the end of the night, she will always come back to you. By heck? DO YOU KNOW WHERE SHE MAY HAVE BEEN? Excuse me - are you a dwarf (well unless that is your fantasy perhaps)? Why settle by putting yourself as second best?

So gals. I think we need to take a stand. Next time your guy tries and probes you for anal sex, to fulfill his fantasy then agree, however strap on that dildo and make HIM be on the RECEIVING end or why not stick the rolling pin down his arse? Next time a guy wants a threesome - agree - but make it TWO MEN (straight of course we don't want to make this easy for them) and ONE WOMAN (please note, that they may try and plead that a lesbian counts as a man - this is not allowed). Stop waking up and being kept awake by him masterbating in bed whilst he pretends to cover it Get your rampant rabbit out and snore yourself like a hooter, BUT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES INVOLVE HIM.

I rest my case.