WANKERS

I am at whits ends - my nerves are completely short from lack of sleep. Why? Because my partner is wanking himself silly each night beside me whilst he thinks I'm asleep. And he trys to muffle his heavy breathing with snores and then trys to cover up his motions by saying he thinks he has carpal tunnel syndrome. What?! Perhaps you should stop wanking then. First time, he says he can't control what he does because he's asleep - yeh right - I'm supposed to believe that one. Then he says why didn't I say anything at the time. Well perhaps at the time I was so angry and up to my wits end that I would of punched him the face then politely say 'Excuse me - would you like a hand with that'. Now he is totally denying it and saying - how do you know I was awake and wanking - did you see my eyes open? Well perhaps I should fucking well put some night visions goggles on in bed then and take a fucking photo then should I.

I just have four words to describe how I feel about him - HE'S A FUCKING WANKER.