I appear to be writing on my blog every 3 months - probably even more but whatever.
I felt drawn to write today as something is really bothering me - at that is the subject of ex's - and the reason is this.
Every relationship I seem to get into (well the good ones that is) there always seems to be an ex that pops back into the scenario.
Example No. 1: James from Glasgow
James was a guy who was doing a PhD at the Welcome in Glasgow Uni. When we met - he left his PhD - well had dropped - that was before we met. He got married to a gal in Glasgow and well they separated. Any how we met on the internet. All was going well until the ex came back into the pic - apparently she wanted him back and well he went back.
Example No. 2 David from Glasgow
David was programmer originally from Forres. We also met on the internet. David had broken up with his ex Fran 6 months prior to us meeting - they had been together for 6 years and were living together. He had a nervous breakdown because he tended to work too hard and she ditched him. So everything was going swell - he seemed so lovely and romantic and I fell hard - he asked me to marry him two weeks later. I remember when we went to go so some friends of mine in London and he mouthed the words 'I love you' to me. I couldn't understand what he was saying and sort of translated them as 'I need a poo'. Anyway - we moved into together and low and behodl his ex split with her fella and wanted David back. And low and behold everything fell apart. Needless to say he went out one night and slept with her, came back and told me. I told him that was that and I was moving out. He later asked me to go back out with him when I came back to pick some stuff from his flat. He then also came round the pub where I was working one night to see me. But if a guy can cheat on you once, well he could do it again. And yet again there was three in the relationship.
Example No. 3
Richy from Glasgow
Richy had a ex girlfriend from a while back who turned her head back in the pub one night and I guess that she as well wanted him back. Boy did she pretend to be my best friend and then one night I saw the light when she snorted a whole lot of charlie. Charlie tends to show the truthful side of persons personalities.
Example No. 4
My current boyfriend's ex has now decided to pop her lovely face back into the scene. Quite frankly I am tired of all this palava. I love my boyfriend to bits and would do anything for him however where there are ex's are concerned well that is a different story. His ex had basically cheated on my boyfriend whils they were going out (they were going out with each other for 6 years and living together) and one night came home and said she didn't love him anymore and had met someone else (also called Steve) - well this year - her and Steve were spose to get married and guess what - it never happened. So she decided to move from Dundee to Musselbourough which is a 15 min drive from Edinburgh. She kept phoning him when we were away for the weekend. He was so lovely and surprised me and was so romantic. Then he mentioned that her sister and herself were wanting to go out with us for lunch. Sorry??? You want me to go out to lunch with your ex? NO. Well I didn't verbally say no, I sort of went silent and probably my face said it all. That night I had a horrible dream that my boyfriend was being flirtatous with anothe woman right infront of my face and started snogging her and I sort of lost my temper and threw a glass of red wine at him. We argued like fuck. I woke up to find myself all short breathed and cold sweats. Why - because in reality we never had an argument in our life. This week I have become ratty and short tempered and I have realised why I have become so short tempered. I am worried that maybe just my boyfriend will want to get back with his ex.
Now sitting her and typing I have realised that in this dream I have imalganated past episodes of my life. With James, I calmly wrote an email saying that we were not meant to be. With David, I came home to find out that he was not being straight with me and threw a glass of red wine at him. With Richy - well Richy was always one for the ladies and wouldn't care displaying this infront of my face.
I am in fear of the ex. I am in fear that I will never overcome this fear. I am in fear that this fear will take away the person I love and care the most in my life.
