Alice in Wonderland

Well, it's Boxing Day - Imanaged to sleep over Xmas Day and sleep over Boxing Day - wanted to peruse the sales at 12 but then gotup and thought bugger this and went back to bed.

Got up at 5 - had a shower - straightened my hair and got a text from an unknown number.

'Merry Christmas to Ye! Heading up leith for ales if you are about '

Texted back,

'Sorry - who are u?'

Got,

'Wascally Wabbit', back.

Five minutes later another text came through,

'B'.

Well I can tell you I really fancied a pint (actually to be honest a glass of wine wouldn't go amiss, but then I thought to myself, hang on a minute Ms. Stadler, we've been here before - we've nto deciphered this whole episode of stalking and to tell you the truth - out of all honesty, even though my boyfriend and I broke up I still felt some loyalty to him. I mean you don't do that to your ex. I remember him saying,

'It is going to break my heart when you start going out with someone else'

and I broke into tears when he said this. So no matter how much I had cared for my friendship with B, my head was saying to me, well what if it was B spreading all those rumours? Can you really trust him? I mean - we're just friends but if R found out about this - a drink between friends - crikey - all hell would break loose - before you know it I'm going to end up being called that 'finion thing by his friends and family. Oh Bloody hell.

It sounds terrible, I know - but could I really trust him - if I went out for a pint - who knows all these things could get spreaded about me and B which weren't true - as always - but things like that you don't want to get back to your ex -yep - their untrue - so your thinking who the fuck cares - your probably even thinking my ex isn't going to care. Maybe I'm too fuckin nice. Jesus.

So I texted back,

'Oh Sorry! Merry XMas! Little Alice's liver is feigning defeat tonight - perhaps another time - have a good one'

and got back.

'Ha Ha - No Probs'

Safe and Boring. OK, after getting into the shower, doing my hair, having a glass of vino calapso I then felt - you know what I do want to go out. I'm sitting here considering going to that grotty bar across the road and having a pint. Damn me being Catholic - I mean I don't practice - but hell I start to feel guilty even when I haven't done anything wrong. I'm actually considering texting back and saying - you know what bugger this where are u. But I can't - reason being - even going out for a pint with a mate - crikey - I've broken up with my ex - it's been three months - I know we'll never get back together - I don't want to get back together - I've started to feel that kick in my soul that I once had before - that seemed to die and go away into the last years of my relationship. My God, my life is going so well - but here I am feeling - I owe this to my friend - my ex - now typing this and rereading this, I'm thinking, 'Hang on a mo, Miss Stadler - r u stupid?' Fuck - I need another glass of wine.

I mean if his whole episode of stalking business never came forth then gladly I would go out for a drink - but how am I to know the truth here - this business between R and B - great they'd make a good soul tune - anyway - who the fuck do I believe here?