Trust

Call me gullible, call me stupid - but every now and then I flick through Jonathan Cainers site and read my stars. For some reason - I can relate to them. He had a new tarot thing on where you could get your cards read so, to heck with it, I thought - for £4.75 lets have a reading.

So, I did - you see you have to concentrate and see clarity before you ask your question. Now I could be a realist here, like my good friend W, and start to think well these things rely on probability etc etc. However, I could also let my trust lie in these for once and see what happens. Afterall, with the element of probability, for example the lottery, to win - you have a one in 40 million chance - well something like that - ok there's the maths - the more tickets you buy the greater chance you have to win. But what is the probability that you are going to be that one in 40 million - it could be anyone - what is the probability that you will choose certain numbers? An element of fate must also play a part.

My dear friend W, say I suffer from pollyanna syndrome where whenever something bad happens, I try to look at it through rose tinted glasses. I have argued this with him. In order for something bad to happen, it could be fate, it could be yourself what you have done to bring yourself to these circumstances, and therefore with the logical side, you learn from your mistakes which has brought you to these circumstances, and you go forth without repeating those same mistakes again. You learn from your experiences - isn't that what is all about?

There is no use staying with the past. What has happened, has happened, and you get on with life. The other scenario is - for example, a bird flying past has done an enormous white shite on your head. To take the former into consideration, your mistakes to lead to this event would be

- that you left the house

- that you didn't hold some gps navigation system on you at all times, to dissect the area to make sure no birds fly in your zone.

-that you didn't constantly look above you to make sure no bird was in your path

- that you didn't shoot all birds or create some kind of virus that wipes the whole bird population out of existence.

This would, in turn, lead to an obsessive compulsive disorder - you would turn into a wacko.

Even if you had done all these things, who cannot say that a dog willl piss on your shoes one day whilst your walking past. So, in part an element of risk/fate is always involved.

What is risk? What is fate?

Risk.
–noun

1.Exposure to the chance of injury or loss; a hazard or dangerous chance: It's not worth the risk.

2.Insurance. a. the hazard or chance of loss; b. the degree of probability of such loss; c. the amount that the insurance company may lose; d. a person or thing with reference to the hazard involved in insuring him, her, or it; e. the type of loss, as life, fire, marine disaster, or earthquake, against which an insurance policy is drawn. –verb (used with object)

3. To expose to the chance of injury or loss; hazard: to risk one's life.

4. To venture upon; take or run the chance of: to risk a fall in climbing; to risk a war. —Idioms

5. At risk, a.in a dangerous situation or status; in jeopardy: families at risk in the area of the weakened dam; b.under financial or legal obligation; held responsible: Are individual investors at risk for the debt part of the real estate venture?

6. Take or run a risk, to expose oneself to the chance of injury or loss; put oneself in danger; hazard; venture.

Fate
–noun

1. Something that unavoidably befalls a person; fortune; lot: It is always his fate to be left behind.

2. The universal principle or ultimate agency by which the order of things is presumably prescribed; the decreed cause of events; time: Fate decreed that they would never meet again.

3. That which is inevitably predetermined; destiny: Death is our ineluctable fate.

4. A prophetic declaration of what must be: The oracle pronounced their fate.

5. Death, destruction, or ruin.

6. The Fates, Classical Mythology. the three goddesses of destiny, known to the Greeks as the Moerae and to the Romans as the Parcae.

So in essence, we can predetermine risk, by heck - the laws of project management - but we cannot predetermine fate.

Anyway back to the tarot - I won't say what the question I asked was - but what I will say is these - to summarise - I have always been on my guard - to ensure that I act in accordance to certain things and certain situations. I have always been scared to take risks. I have always mistrusted. And that is where the core problem lies. I am constantly worrying about what could happen and constantly worrying about the negative outcomes that in the end they will happen. For once, I need to relax, go with the flow, take each day as it comes, and let myself be pleasantly surprised. More importantly, I need to start to relax and start to trust people - afterall if I can trust a stupid tarot card reading, I should certainly be able to place my trust in things alot more? If I don't start to trust things more, I will hold myself back - I may never experience some of those wonderful things that could happen if I didn't hold back.